Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Trying to write the worries away.


Writing, even just a blog post, is a funny thing. 

Sometimes I sit down and I've got nothing. zilch. nadda. I just don't feel it coming to me and I feel like it'd be phoning it in if I slapped something down. So I don't. Instead I get away from the computer and try and face my life head on. 

But sometimes, like today, I wake up and my fingers are buzzing. Oh the things I want to write! The things I want to say! Today is a writing day, if I may! (a la Dr. Seuss himself.)

So here I am, writing. Writing about writing. My goodness, get on with it, self! 

Spring is finally springing around these parts (well, I like to pretend that this warm-up is a thing of permanency) and it's the time of year when possibilities are blooming and the options are endless. How exciting, right?

Oh, very much so! For most. For me, well change is absolutely terrifying. As the wonderful Tina Fey once said “My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” and my all-time favorite line from her book, “It’s a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but it’s my lot in life.” 


But unfortunately, knowing that worrying doesn't change an ounce of the intended outcome or fate, doesn't change the fact that I will still worry. About every detail. Every unknown. Every little thing there is to worry about. 

So right about now, being 23, in a country far away from home, looking for new career opportunities, starting a new relationship, trying to make rent each month, well these all factor in for a worrier's dream! The things one can worry about and criticize themselves for! It.is.miserable.

"Worrying won't change anything."

You could smash that fact into my thick skull all day long and I'd still wake up at least once a week mid-slumber itching and sweating from stresses that mulled their way into even my brain's off-hours. 

But this is nothing new. This has been a dragon I've been trying to slay my whole life. But, now, I'm just going to try and keep this dragon a little bit more at bay each day. So I will keep on, keeping on. 

In the meantime, I'm going to focus on the wonderful, worry-free things life has to offer. Like fresh tulips from the market and cartons of blueberries for only a Euro!

And enjoy distracting myself with the brilliance the internet sometimes has to offer. 
Ok, this as well.(the bon jovi and t-swift ones are the best.)
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