day two: heartbreak.

to be perfectly honest, this past semester has been rough.  not necessarily because of ample amounts of homework or even trying to keep up with four jobs.  nope.  i would rather slay those dragons head on any day than have to deal with heartbreak. 

heartbreak is the pits.

& I've had some trepidation about whether or not to blog about my recent heartache. because one weird thing about blogs- it's all archived.  all the happy moments before the break-up & moments like right now. so even whenever you try & move along, you catch yourself peeking back at those moments. moments you never imagined would make you cry. but you do it anyway, because being brave is something you admire in others & long to be yourself.
 
so here it goes, Loves.

last semester i dated a boy.  he was charming & happy & we had a blast together. i came to really, really care about this boy.  i loved our adventures together & i simply adore his family. & honestly, i still care about him & his family. a lot.

but then it happens.  you drift apart & you realize your lives are headed in remarkably different directions.  as much as it breaks your heart & makes you dizzy all at once, you try & accept it's for the best.

but this semester. holy moly. i have had some rough days trying to believe it's for the best.

break-ups are flippin' weird.  you go from being best friends with a person to absolutely never speaking again.  how does that even make sense?  

i guess it doesn't.  

but who ever said Love made sense? 

i must say that as much as it killed me, breaking-up before the semester began made creating my own semester routine a little bit easier. it was kind of a fresh start, of sorts. 

but snap, crackle, pop was it hard.

but much to my surprise i got into a new groove.

i came out from under my duvet to find the same beautiful world that had always been there - boy or not.  

there was so much happiness to experience in this past semester. i began to grow & learn so much about myself. 

& i straight-up forced myself to accept some things:

- when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
- your friends see through a lot of the crap.
- your sisters do, too.
- don't become a doormat.  people love a good doormat.
- respect. (yourself, others, just as much as others should respect you.)
- you can still care & miss him at times, but as the ever so wise Elizabth Gilbert put it: “So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it."
- love will come.
- but don't rush it.
- because it's on its way, waiting to arrive at the most perfect of times.
- just because you broke-up doesn't make the happiness you had with the person any less real. that happiness was so real.
- never allow your heart to refuse Love.  Love helps you heal.  & so many people Love you.

xo-